Realities

Note: probably this is not post you want to read. I put down only my private thorought. The reason you can read it here is only one - I have no other place to write it.

I wonder what kind of thoughts came to my mind with one meaningless notice about feminism. It must be something unsaid deep inside myself. Thinking about role of woman (and man) in society is not my usual work.

When I was younger I admired woman which lived on their own. To be honest I admire them today too - their strength, independency. But as the time goes on the admiration became a bit feary. Is this what I want to live with? Aren't these strong women too dangerous for me?

Few years ago I realized that is more simple to be a woman then a man. Through pregnancy, menstruation, lower salaries, less physical strength. From the past the rights of woman are a bit more protected than the rights of man, but today as the fight for equality goes on this protection is upgraded with new and new equality regulations. And men fighting for their rights are much more succesful. For example - maternity leave vs. children after divorce. When we will agree that man is equal to woman we must state that man are much less successful while demanding this right.

But these law matter doesn't trouble me so much as inteligence and craft of woman. An interesting thought came to my mind now: it's like the sexual behaviour. During some easy postcoital chat I realized that woman is more complex than man. Then I was thinking about sexual behaviour but as I see it's more general. Especially while thinking about battles man against woman. Man goes straightforward. He is strong, he simply takes or loses. Strategy of woman is different. She fights more indirectly and complex - and these attacks are hardly to resist. Man wins battles - but wars are dominated by woman. And finally, woman has the greatest weapon - her body. And nowadays this weapon can be used without disgrace.

Yes, that's the point. I fear of this weapon. I can live without making love or - if you want - I can live without sex. But when I love someone I love also her body, her skin, etc.. I like to touch her, I like to make love with her through I could live without it. But when I allow all what I like I am at the mercy of woman.

Is it all about sex? No, perhaps. But sex plays a key role - it is a very strong weapon for me. Have I to abandon sex and all this stuff? Have I fight for my strength agains those who could love me?

Don't know.

I entitled this post ,,Realities". Now I realized that when I started to write it I have different thing in my mind.

Never mind.

Sorry for reading such psychologic selfabusing.